had remedials. it was pretty fine. reached home, watched the japanese drama again. i simply love that show! -grins- ;D

depression occured after that. i was using the computer from 4-7pm. i did nothing but chatting, stoning around. chatted with baby again. yeapps i missed him tho. muaaa* then somehow i went crazy. my mum came back home telling me bad news, bad phenomenon. so yeah i became like mad cow. i spouted a lot of nonsense and i felt bad. baby. im sorry. somehow i feel that i ruined your day. somehow i feel that i made you feel so bored. somehow i feel that i started to irritate you. i really hope i didnt. but i just cant help feeling sorry. i dont know why, perhaps im sensitive. im sorry. besides that, i wanna say im dependent on you ): that's bad. i might bring lots of troubles for you. sighs. and seriously, i did not lie! i feel so touched and happy when you said that you missed me. even if you said you think so. you are always the one making me feel much better even though i'll still be troubled. i think you are the energy i need.

i hope you wont be reading this cause i just want to voice out how i feel. if you see this i will feel shy. yeah i will cause im a girl. hehs i hope you dont ; please dont mention this entry to me if you reading this. can.?

i coped myself in my dark room, talking to my rabbit soft toy. she's with me since i was two years old. just because i feel helpless and no one to talk to so i ended up talking to a soft toy. im not crazy, im just fine. she's the only one who knows what's going on cause i believe she sees everything that i've been through.

god, please help me. it's the worse time i had. i really need help from you. im breaking down, im falling, im losing control of myself.